Pre-Coffee Confusion

by Art Lieberman March 23, 2019

"Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?" - Jean Kerr

Ever have that moment? You know the one: It's 6:30 in the morning and a well-meaning person, a person already caffeinated, asks a question.

Can't they see that my eyes aren't opened yet, that words (incoming or outgoing) create a cognitive load beyond my reach? It's like having to take the stupid SAT on a Saturday morning. Maybe not immoral but close.

Do we need a constitutional amendment to protect my right to stay silent before coffee? Yes.

For what can come out of my mouth except self-incrimination at 6:30? And in this YouTubey world, I'll end up in jail, or worse a Facebook bullied babbler played over and over again.

Unemployed. Homeless.

I know, from now on I'll wear a t-shirt imprinted with a warning to any who attempt conversation before two or three swallows.

First sip: hello. Second: how are you? Third: world peace.

Be civil.

Now that's not so hard.